Good friends are really hard to come by. So when you have a good friend (and you'll know when you do), you need to treat them as such. There will be so many people in your life who will "Pose". It's up to you to figure out who is who and what people's purpose/agenda is. I would like to tell you a story...
When I was 20 years old I met a man. (for now we'll just call him Rayshawn) We met through a mutual friend, (who we can call Shaneequa) Shaneequa and I had been friends since we were kids. From the day I met Rayshawn I was smitten. I'm not really sure what it was but I knew I would make him my man someday. We saw each other a few times and eventually we ended up becoming a couple. As time went by, I looked up and 2 1/2 years had passed. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable and insecure with our relationship. I never had anything concrete but I had this gut wrenching feeling that Rayshawn was cheating. (I never went looking though...you know what they say about looking for trouble) What I did do was confide in my long time friend, Shaneequa, the girl who introduced us over 2 years ago. I told her how I was feeling and why I felt that way. As I'm pouring my heart out to her telling her what's on my mind she suddenly interrupts me and says..."I've been wanting to tell you this, but I just didn't know how." So I stop talking and I look at her to see what her facial expressions can tell me about what she's going to say. The only thing I could tell was it wasn't good. She continued, "About a year ago Rayshawn was really trying to get at (we'll just call her Aisha). Now I didn't know Aisha very well, we had some mutual friends that included Shaneequa, but we never really hung out. I would see her on occasions when were around the same mutual friends, but nothing more. So I asked Shaneequa, "What do you mean trying to get at? Trying to fuck?" She gave me a real scared look and said yeah, and then quickly added "But I don't think they ever did." I said "How do you know they didn't do it? Were you with her or him 24hrs/day since then to know for sure? No you weren't so you don't know what they did." Then I found myself yelling at her saying "And why are you just now telling me this? We've been friends since we were kids, why didn't you tell me this when it happened?" Plain as day, and as calm as ever she said, "That was right around the time you started saying that you loved him." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't believe that a person could be so ignorant to think that was a good excuse for why not to tell your friend her boyfriend is trying to cheat on her. If nothing else that would have been the BEST time to tell me. That way I wouldn't have invested so much more time into him. I began to ask more questions about how it went down, and who else was around when it did. She told me that another mutual friend was around when it was happening, (We'll call her Rasheeda) as a matter of fact it was happening at her house. Right there on the spot I told her how wrong she was for not telling me and how a true friend wouldn't do that. I told her that I would deal with our situation later and I jumped in my car. I'm furious driving over to Rasheeda's house thinking about all of this bullshit. On my way over it came to me that I've been around Aisha and Rasheeda several times since then, with them both knowing and me being the only one in the dark I started to feel like a fool, which made my anger rise even higher. I pull up to Rasheeda's house and from the parking lot I can see that her front door is open with the exception of the screen door. I jump out of my car walk up to the door and I don't even knock I just walk in. No one is in the living room Rasheeda is in the kitchen cooking. I walked in and without giving her time to think I just blurted out "Tell me everything you know about Rayshawn and Aisha. I know you know I talked to Shaneequa so don't lie.!" After saying that she spilled the beans on the whole situation. Everything happened the way Shaneequa said it did. Rasheeda also tried to convince me that it never happened. I told her the same thing I told Shaneequa about not being a good friend, and I left her house. It really hurt to cut ties with Shaneequa because of how long we were "friends" but over time I realized that for a person to do something like that to me, they were never my friend to begin with. Needless to say I don't "consider" them friends anymore although I will be and have been civil when we crossed paths, but let's me make it clear we are not "friends" They were "Posers" in my life. Unfortunately it took almost a lifetime at that point to find one out. They didn't have my back and consequently they aren't in my life anymore...
I ain't got time to talk just hi and bye bitch-Nicki Minaj
It may hurt to get rid of these "Posers" but you'll feel much better in time.
P.S. No I'm not with Rayshawn anymore...but he still wants me back after all these years :)
-sheatva
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