Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Why hit a man if you don't want him to hit you back?

I never condone a man putting his hands on a woman, so before I get into my story I just want to make that abundantly clear. There is just something that women do that I don't understand. Why is it okay for you to be slapping and punching on this man, but as soon as he slaps your ass back you want to have him locked up? I gotta say that men have a bad wrap when they are put in this situation. Yeah I know most people would say "he's the man, he's stronger than her so he should never hit a woman." This is very true, but believe it or not there is a such thing as a man being physically abused by his wife or girlfriend. I feel like if you have the balls to hit a man, you should be preparing yourself for the slap of your life.

Back in Ohio I knew a woman (who we can call Sabrina), she and I weren't friends but we knew one another from around the way. Sabrina had a boyfriend (we'll just call him Anthony) who fathered her 2 children. Sabrina and Anthony were known for their domestic disputes, because they were always drawn out into the street as a public display for the neighborhood to watch. Sabrina slapped on Anthony pretty regularly. It would always seem as though Sabrina wanted her business in the street, because she would primarily be the one in the street doing most of the yelling and screaming. It was like she enjoyed it when people watched her smack her man around. Well one summer day lots of people were out in our neighborhood, it wasn't too hot out so our block was packed with people. From where my friends and I are sitting we could see Sabrina and Anthony's door to their apartment. Without warning Sabrina comes flying out the house hollering and screaming things at Anthony. She said things like "I can't stand you you bitch!" "That's why A.J. isn't your son." things that would make a man want to slap a bitch. While she's yelling and screaming he comes outside and says "Sabrina come in the house, just come in the house." Sabrina yells "Fuck you you stupid mutherfucker!" and she smacks him in his face. By this time they have the attention of the entire neighborhood, Dominoes game was put on pause, conversations were brought to a halt, and somebody even turned the music down. After grabbing the attention of the "Hood" Sabrina decides the one smack isn't enough and starts to repeatedly hit Anthony in the face and body. Now he's not just letting her hit him he was shielding himself from her blows but she did catch him with a few good ones. She caught him with one so good that he finally had enough, he draws back from Africa, slapped her so hard with his back hand, that her body instantly dropped and she laid lifeless on the ground. Nobody moved, nobody said a word, everyone just stayed still. Now I ain't gonna lie I was scared for her at first because it wasn't clear for like the first 60 seconds if she was even alive. Slowly but surely though she began to move around a bit and make a few whimpering noises. When she finally pulled herself up off of the ground, she looked around because everybody was still staring at her. You could tell by the look on her face she was very embarrassed, and also in pain. Finally she starts yelling to the crowds "How ya'll just gonna let him hit me?!" "That's fucked up ya'll just gonna let him hit me like that!" It was silent for a couple more seconds and then you could hear a woman in the distance say "It's fucked up you said what you said to that man and you put your hands on him first...You got what you deserved." When she said that I thought, damn she's kinda right. That girl flips on him all the time, and if she's big enough to hit him she's big enough to get the fire smacked out of her. Sabrina stood there for a couple more seconds, looks at Anthony, bursts out crying and runs back in the house. Then I thought to myself, damn everybody out here must have felt the same way. That's why nobody came to her defense, they felt she had this one coming. We didn't see many arguments from those two after that day, and we definitely never saw or heard of her hitting him again. So I guess she learned her lesson. It sucks she had to get the shit smacked outta her for her to chill, but I guess some people need a real wake up call, in this case a smack up call. You should only be touching your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend with loving hands, never with violent ones. LOVE one another.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Who really has your back?

Good friends are really hard to come by. So when you have a good friend (and you'll know when you do), you need to treat them as such. There will be so many people in your life who will "Pose".  It's up to you to figure out who is who and what people's purpose/agenda is. I would like to tell you a story...

When I was 20 years old I met a man. (for now we'll just call him Rayshawn) We met through a mutual friend, (who we can call Shaneequa) Shaneequa and I had been friends since we were kids. From the day I met Rayshawn I was smitten. I'm not really sure what it was but I knew I would make him my man someday. We saw each other a few times and eventually we ended up becoming a couple. As time went by, I looked up and 2 1/2 years had passed. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable and insecure with our relationship. I never had anything concrete but I had this gut wrenching feeling that Rayshawn was cheating. (I never went looking know what they say about looking for trouble) What I did do was confide in my long time friend, Shaneequa, the girl who introduced us over 2 years ago. I told her how I was feeling and why I felt that way. As I'm pouring my heart out to her telling her what's on my mind she suddenly interrupts me and says..."I've been wanting to tell you this, but I just didn't know how." So I stop talking and I look at her to see what her facial expressions can tell me about what she's going to say. The only thing I could tell was it wasn't good. She continued, "About a year ago Rayshawn was really trying to get at (we'll just call her Aisha). Now I didn't know Aisha very well, we had some mutual friends that included Shaneequa, but we never really hung out. I would see her on occasions when were around the same mutual friends, but nothing more. So I asked Shaneequa, "What do you mean trying to get at? Trying to fuck?" She gave me a real scared look and said yeah, and then quickly added "But I don't think they ever did." I said "How do you know they didn't do it? Were you with her or him 24hrs/day since then to know for sure? No you weren't so you don't know what they did." Then I found myself yelling at her saying "And why are you just now telling me this? We've been friends since we were kids, why didn't you tell me this when it happened?" Plain as day, and as calm as ever she said, "That was right around the time you started saying that you loved him." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't believe that a person could be so ignorant to think that was a good excuse for why not to tell your friend her boyfriend is trying to cheat on her. If nothing else that would have been the BEST time to tell me. That way I wouldn't have invested so much more time into him. I began to ask more questions about how it went down, and who else was around when it did. She told me that another mutual friend was around when it was happening, (We'll call her Rasheeda) as a matter of fact it was happening at her house. Right there on the spot I told her how wrong she was for not telling me and how a true friend wouldn't do that. I told her that I would deal with our situation later and I jumped in my car. I'm furious driving over to Rasheeda's house thinking about all of this bullshit. On my way over it came to me that I've been around Aisha and Rasheeda several times since then, with them both knowing and me being the only one in the dark I started to feel like a fool, which made my anger rise even higher. I pull up to Rasheeda's house and from the parking lot I can see that her front door is open with the exception of the screen door. I jump out of my car walk up to the door and I don't even knock I just walk in. No one is in the living room Rasheeda is in the kitchen cooking. I walked in and without giving her time to think I just blurted out "Tell me everything you know about Rayshawn and Aisha. I know you know I talked to Shaneequa so don't lie.!" After saying that she spilled the beans on the whole situation. Everything happened the way Shaneequa said it did. Rasheeda also tried to convince me that it never happened. I told her the same thing I told Shaneequa about not being a good friend, and I left her house. It really hurt to cut ties with Shaneequa because of how long we were "friends" but over time I realized that for a person to do something like that to me, they were never my friend to begin with. Needless to say I don't "consider" them friends anymore although I will be and have been civil when we crossed paths, but let's me make it clear we are not "friends" They were "Posers" in my life. Unfortunately it took almost a lifetime at that point to find one out. They didn't have my back and consequently they aren't in my life anymore...

I ain't got time to talk just hi and bye bitch-Nicki Minaj

It may hurt to get rid of these "Posers" but you'll feel much better in time.

P.S. No I'm not with Rayshawn anymore...but he still wants me back after all these years :)